‘I am just a poor boy, though my story’s seldom told. I have squandered my resistance for a pocket full of mumbles. such are promises, all lies and jests. still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. when I left my home and my family I was no more than a boy, in the company of strangers, in the quiet of the railway station, running scared, laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go, looking for the places only they would know.
asking only workman’s wages, I come looking for a job, but I get no offers, just a come-on from the whores on seventh avenue. I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome I took some comfort there. then I’m laying out my winter clothes and wishing I was gone, going home, where the new york city winters aren’t bleeding me, leading me…going home.
in the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade and he carries the reminders of ev’ry glove that laid him down or cut him ’til he cried out in his anger and his shame, I am leaving, I am leaving, but the fighter still remains.’
— ‘the boxer’ written by: paul simon
the sky has turned to tin and the air tastes metallic. it’s so damn dry in california that every living thing suffers. the water is high in calcium which leaves behind the same residual lines of the melting snows of my youth. whoever has claimed to you that california doesn’t get cold is a liar. san francisco has north-western chill, you have to feel it for several winters to be able to describe it. and of course, only locals speak from the same pool of reference. nature is large here, highways fast, we take route 1 when we can, to keep learning the pacific coast. we’re on holiday to portland in a few weeks and are looking forward to getting deeper north. I can’t help but be reminded of the atlantic north-east, a compliment and equal to the north-west in so many ways, as if each corner could lay over the other like lovers, different but the same, endlessly comparing and influencing one another.
I tried to sit down and write something out that was floating and hopeful for the year’s end. I have plenty good in my life and we continue to improve our lot with the passing of months, but I’m ready to get gone. silicon valley, oakland and san francisco have been explored and noted, I’m in the need of the now and more than ready to move along. part of me wants to disappear even further from view than I already have, after deleting old accounts, old blogs, old paintings, old patterns. maybe moving to the desert south of us or to a cabin north. I’ve tucked up into my small life ignoring the new norm to chase popularity and sales. I live a spoiled life in our treehouse, not depended on selfies, likes, follows, ego massaging or trend following of the more regular folk, the more needy folk. it’s a lovely freedom to work in. but that’s just me, and the world? the world is no less chaotic and emotionally charged with injustice than it has been in its history. when deciding and defending ideas and opinions, most folks forget to take into consideration human nature. I am not a cynic nor an idealist, I’m a realist and this can sometimes offend those living in a bubble. we can survive what is happening on political and sociological scales because we have to. we are dynamic beings, we are designed to be challenged and can thrive or falter in any setting. as beauty lay in front and all around she can be easily reached. humans are the only creatures that seem to forcefully dislodge her. but she remains, you just have to know where to look.
may the new year carry light, good health and inspired moments for all of you. may you finally kick a bad habit, become a better communicator, intake less daily sugar (fuck!), become more humble, flexible and at ease in your skin, regardless of age. may you help an animal or person in need, give to the poor, improve upon your understanding of the world. may you fall in love if looking, may you be brave enough to leave something or someone you should. may you chase down a dream or long held desire. may you be happy. all my love, kh
(all images and credits can be found at: www.pinterest/buffalo77.com)